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2009 Movie Marathon: April

mai 3rd, 2009 by

Watching movies, so you don’t have to!

Barbarella

Barbarella

I’m still hard at work trying to watch 365 movies in 2009. It’s going pretty good so far, I’m still a little bit ahead.

My rating system:

= total waste of time, stay away
= if you have absolutely nothing better to to
= weeeell, its ok i guess, it has parts worth seeing but don’t expect too much
= pretty good! but probably not worth seeing twice
= really, really great
= a must!

The movies I watched in april

  1. Absurdistan () Absurdistan is a charming and sweet black comedy / love story from a dusthole located somewhere in the former
    Soviet Union, where the women go on a sex strike to get their lazy men
    to fix the water supply. Reminds me of the wonderful movies of Emir Kusturica, especially Black cat White cat, and also the dirty grittyness of Delikatessen. Must keep an eye on future films from director Veit Kelmer. (IMDB / Wikipedia)
  2. Paul Blart – Mall cop () If you have nothing better to do, then sure.
  3. Striptease () Highlights: Demi Moores mammalian glands + Burt Reynolds covered in vaseline.
  4. Exotica () Pretentious bullshit. Fast forward.
  5. X-Men Origins: Wolverine () I want to be Wolverine. I already have a broken heart and a distrust for authorities. All I need is adamantium claws. Quote: «I think there is a naked man in the barn»
  6. The Spirit () The first 40 minutes was a massive dissapointment. The lack of humour drew attention to the bad acting and blatant thievery of the Sin City estetic (and technology). But at 40 minutes or so it started to pick up, and the gags and dialog started to tickle my fancy. Highlight: Samuel L. Jackson as a nazi with an egg hangup! Hysterical! Perhaps the director fucked this one up, because if the first 40 minutes had been as funny as the rest, this would have been a .
  7. Closer ()  Quotes: «-I don’t eat fish. -Why not? -Fish piss in the sea. -So does children. -I don’t eat children eighter.» + «She: Do you want to discuss art? It’s a lie. It’s a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautfully and all the glittering assholes who appreciale art say it’s beautiful because that is what they want to see. But the people in the photos are sad and alone but the pictures make the world seem beautiful. So the exhibitions is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everybody loves a big fat lie. He: I’m the big fat lies boyfriend.» + «She: Why is the sex so important? He: BECAUSE I’M A FUCKING CAVE MAN!!» + «Thank you for your honesty, now fuck off and die you fucked up slag.»
  8. The Motorcycle Diaries () The formative journey of revolutionary hero Che Guevera trough latin america. 8000 miles on an old Norton 500 motorcycle sounds fantastic.
  9. Fame () Still fantastic! Fun, and very dark at the same time.
  10. Seven Pounds () My girlfriend hadn’t seen it yet, and I wanted to see if it still held up. And it does. Quote: «You are a good man even when you don’t know that people are watching you.»
  11. Barbarella () Awful, but in a splendid way. A total turkey. Jane Fonda is absolutely hillarious in this. Quote: «Decruxify the angel or I will melt your face» + «A life without cause is a life without effect»
    [embed:http://www.youtube.com/v/1uwNEnh9uaM]

  12. Skjult () Norwegian movie, s my comments are too: Faen i helvete så skummel! Dog: Karin Parks karakter trekker litt ned, litt for twin peaks psuedoskummel (= bryter illusjonen). Mange løse tråder når filmen er ferdig, men på en god måte, hjernen kan fortsette å jobbe litt.
  13. Somers town () Again! Needed something light after Skjult.
  14. Gummo () Quite disturbing. Dark stuff from director Harmony Korine (who wrote the screenplay for Kids) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gummo  Oh, and I recommend this rather strange video from David Letterman, where a coked up Korine said (among other strange and very funny things) : «I want to direct the sequel to Titanic. I’d use a rowboat. And I don’t know if it would sink»  
  15. Julien donkey boy () Hated every second of it! Argh! Cruel, soulless and pretentious. This one also from Harmony Korine. And it is a «Dogme»-movie by the way.
  16. Observe and Report () Actually very funny from Seth Rogen. A little bit too similar to Mall Cop perhaps?
  17. Grey Gardens () Fantastic documentary.
    [embed:http://www.youtube.com/v/xG5baCxTtgw]
  18. The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes Smarter Brother () Gene Wilder. :)
  19. The Secret life of Bees () Sweet, and sad, and beautiful. Quotes: «- Don’t get your hopes up. – They have no where else to go.» +The rules of beekeeping  (and everything). Don’t be afraid. Don’t be an idiot. Don’t swat. Send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved» + «Sometimes not feeling is the only way to survive.» + «I’m unloveabe» + «We like to think that love is pure and limitless. But love like that can’t exist in a hateful time.»
    [embed:http://www.youtube.com/v/pVCil2oSNYY]
  20. Knowing (, because its sci-fi!) Dissapointing. A Sci-fi movie about the destruction of mankind, and still they manage to screw it up with a car chase(!) while the earth is burning up, a predictable and boring plot. Boo! Observation: Aliens like fucking around in the fog at night wearing long black trenchcoats. And they like bunnies. Phat!
  21. Killshot () I’m taking a detour down the dirty and pockmarked road of Mickey Rourkes movie career in reverse. Last: «The Wrestler» (hurray!). Now: «Killshot» (2008). Quite funny to start with, but turned dark halfway in. Observation: You know your life is fucked when you break into a house that has a huge For Sale sign in front. Quote: «Real life, what the fuck is that?» 
  22. Last Chance Harvey () Being a hopeless romantic, I loved this movie, starring Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. I always feel like the outsider in social settings, even with my own family, so this melancholic movie is hitting close to home. Kind of an eyeopener really. If you are one of those people who feel confortable and sort of content when you hit rock bottom, you will probably like this. Quotes: «You’re good, you still know how to make me feel like a piece of shit in 30 seconds». + «Your day may have been shitty, but mine was shittier». +  «Someway along the way I lost her. I woke up one morning and felt like i didnt belong. I always had this feeling in my stumach that they where a bit embarrased by me.» +  «I was not a great father» + «The blood oozes from his wound like dark chocolate on a warm summers day.»  – author reading from his book. 
  23. Barfly () Starring Mickey Rourke, directed by Francis  Ford Coppula, written by Charles Bukowski. Year: 1987. (IMDB) The acting in this thing is fucking awful! I didn’t remember that from the last time I saw it.  Quote: «Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live». -Charles Bukowski  + «Come closer, I need to tell you something. Your mothers cunt (* sniffs *) stinks like carpet cleaner». + «I’d hate to be you if I where me» + «She: I hate people. Do you hate people? -He: No, but I seem to feel better when they’re not around» + «No money, no job, no ride. Hey! Back to normal!» + «She: Don’t you hate cops? He: No, but I seem to feel better when they’re not around» + «She: I don’t want to fall in love. He: Don’t worry, nobody ever loved me yet» + «Last time I saw you, you had nothing. Now you have a woman and a radio!» + «Hatred, the only thing that lasts»
    [embed:http://www.youtube.com/v/-vgTfABxyS0]

  24. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man () 1991. Mickey Rourke. Don Johnson. I had forgotten that this movie had a plot. :) Quotes: «It’s better to be dead and cool, than alive and uncool» – Harley Davidson «My dad used to tell me, before he left this shitty world, that the right woman can make you, and the wrong woman can break you.» – Marlboro Man
  25. The Shawshank Redemption () Quotes: «Put your trust in the Lord. Your ass belongs to me» + «What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk.»
  26. Johnny Handsome () 1989. Mickey Rourke as the elephant man (sort of).
  27. Angel Heart () A masterpiece of cinematography and storytelling. And it has the most amazing sex-scene ever. Directed by Alan Parker , who also made Birdy, Fame and the Commitments, all some of my favorite fims.
    [embed:http://www.youtube.com/v/YAajViC5R18]
  28. Seven Dead Men () Low budget selfpublished movie that frankly sucks ass. But hey, it’s free and legal to download, which is a rarity! The dialog has a few nuggets, but technically it is very rudimentary. The most irritating part is that it tries to be Pulp Fiction or Clerks, but without the charm. Most of the scenes are shot in cars, or at tables, from two angles. I like the two dudes in the suits though.
  29. The Adventure of Sherlock Homes’ smarter brother () I don’t think so.
  30. The Commitments () My god I love this movie! Quotes: «Elvis is GOD!» + «Auditoner sings: Heaven knows I’m miserable now . Mangager: Yeah, I know how you feel» + «That’s fucking blasphemy. Elvis wasn’t a cajun!» + «I’m black and I’m proud.» + «Pick a nipple and try it again» + «I need something to look forward to» + «- He’s a savage. – Yes, but he is our savage» + «That’s guerilla with a «U, not an O» + «The lead singer has a voice Bob Geldof would starve for»
  31. Come see the paradise () A movie about the US internmentcamps during world war 2, ruled unconstitutional towards the end of the war. Directed by Alan Parker. Quotes: «When you lose your self respect you truly have nothing» + » A wasp always stings a crying face».

Posted in Input

2009 Movie Maraton: March

april 3rd, 2009 by

platoon-1-1024

Miniquiz: Who said: «There must and shall be BOOZE!»

We have just entered the lovely month of April, and spring is in the air, finally! This probably means that there will be fewer movies and more rooting in the garden in the coming months on my part. But YOU, dear reader, might find brief enjoyment in some of the movies I came across in the month of March, in the year of our fnord 2009.

  1. The day the earth stood still, 1951 (****) It is always fun to watch the original after the remake, and I must say I enjoyed the 1951 version alot more, especially for the «spectacular» cheesy special effects :)
  2. Stir Crazy (*****) I remember watching this comedy a billion times on VHS recorded from tv in the 80s. Still great fun. And it has a beautiful version of the song «Birmingham Jail» as a bonus.
  3. Jackie Brown (*****) I like Jackie Brown, but there is something «off» about the tempo of this movie, compared to Tarantino’s masterpiece «Pulp Fiction».
  4. Heaven and Earth (****) Oliver Stone’s third and last movie in his Vietnam trilogy, and the least praised, probably because of it’s Vietnamese cast. Quote: «Lasting victories are won in the heart» (not in this land or that)
  5. Lost in La Mancha (*****) Documentary of a movieshoot gone bad. VERY bad. Poor Terry Gilliam
  6. The adventures of Baron Munchhausen (*****) «Quote: «I am tired of the world, and the world is evidently tired of me.» According to the documentary «Lost in la mancha» the production if Baron Munchhausen was a complete dissaster, but to my eyes it looks fantastic. I can understand that Gilliam went over budget, because the sets are fantastic in their complexity. More quotes: «It is the dawning of the age of lovely intimate things» (while blowing up a hot air balloon made of female undergarments.) + «He won’t get far on hot air and fantasy» + «I’ve got tides to regulate and comets to direct, I don’t have time for flatulence and orgasms» (Robin Williams as the King of the Moon)
  7. Platoon (******) «Rejoice O young man in thy youth …» – Ecclesiastes. Ironic quote chosen by Oliver Stone as the intro to this classic.
  8. The man with two brains (****) Steve Martin in one of his funniest roles.
  9. Summer (**** or *****) Great form and storytelling! (Imdb)
  10. Cape Fear (***) It has lost it’s bite from the first time I saw it. But still impressed about Robert De Niro transformed his body for this role.
  11. Match Point (***) Longwinded, but I love the Carousoi soundtrack, which has sentimental value to me.
  12. The Outsiders (*** or ****) Quote: Stay gold.
  13. McCabe and Mrs. Miller (****) A tale from the wild west, but with music from Leonard Cohen. It is also one of few movies ever that shot in sequence, according to wikipedia.
  14. Crocodile Dundee (****) Actually this is ***** if I should follow my own rating system, because it is obviously worth seeing again. Hello 1986! Quote: «To talk about who owns the earth is like two fleas discussing who owns the dog they are sitting on.» – Crockodile Dundee said that :)
  15. Club Paradise (*** or ****) Another 1986 movie, this time a lighthearted comedy, like this decade is so known for. With Robin Williams.
  16. Money pit (****) Tom Hanks stars in this hillarious 1986 comedy. (wikipedia)
  17. Pretty in Pink (*****) A classic. And this one is also from 1986. A good year. Quote: «Why can’t we start old and get younger»
  18. Watchmen (**** or *****) Strange forward movement and tempo on this movie, with all the flashbacks. Slow, but wakes you up with ultraviolent scenes, but I am uncertain about where the story is taking me. Quote: «Beneath me, this awful city, it screams like an abattoir full of retarded children.» – Rorschach
  19. Role Models (***) Quite entertaining. Quote about girls: «In my experience the bigger ones do way more stuff»
  20. The Graduate (*****) A classic. Dustin Hoffman portraying the most irritating / gayest man ever.
  21. Death Proof (*****) Watched it again to see the 8 minute one take conversation around a diner table, but ended up seeing the whole thing. Not Tarantinos best, but it has a few golden moments.
  22. The French Connection (***) What a messy movie. Gene Hackman delivers ok, but kind of dissapointing.
  23. Kids (*****) It blew my mind the first time I saw it, now it just scares me.
  24. Rumble Fish (*****) Was shot back to back with The Outsider, but this is quite a different production, and a lot better in my opinion. Quote: «Even the most primitive society has an inate respect for the insane.» – Motorcycle boy (played by Mickey Rourke) + «I feel like I’m wasteing my life waiting for something.» – Rusty James (Matt Dillion)
  25. Robin Williams – Live at the Met (*****) A classic, Robin Williams before he got «family friendly». Classic quote: «It’s five o clock in the morning, and you’ve just pissed on a dumpster. It’s Miller time.»
  26. Sid and Nancy (*****) Gary Oldman! What the hell, I had completely missed that Gary Oldman played Sid Vicious, and I’ve watched this movie twice before. These fuckers knew how to have fun! Quote: «I was so bored once that I fucked a dog»
  27. Rio Bravo (****) Hillarious and strange. John Wayne is a complete dork!
  28. Confessions of an action hero (***) Funny spoof on the wonderful world of horrible action heroes.
  29. Ready or not (***) a bachelor movie from Las Vegas. Wish I had friends like that.
  30. Birdy (***** or ******) What?»
  31. Mad Max 2 (*****) Quotes: «Are you happy out there? One day blurring into another?» + «A burnt out desolate man»
  32. The cake eaters (****) Sweet smalltown love-story.
  33. Mr Blandings builds his dream house (****) Cary Grant, 1948. Kind of hard to feel sorry for a dude with a black maid. Quote: «This house needs two. One to love it and one to hold it up.»
  34. Kabluey (**** or *****) Quote: «We’re being attacked by cheese!»
  35. What doesn’t kill you (*** or ****) Ethan Hawke with a gold tooth. Hm.

Posted in Input

FAIL: Watch 365 movies in a year!

januar 2nd, 2009 by

Dead men dont wear plaid

OK, so I didn’t make it. Boo hoo. I love watching movies, and I had an «ambition» of seeing 365 movies in 2008. I didn’t even come close. As the clock reached twelve and the new year arrived, I had only seen 185 movies.

Here is the list, all rated and commented :)

(mer…)

Posted in Input