2009 Movie Marathon: April

Watching movies, so you don’t have to!


I’m still hard at work trying to watch 365 movies in 2009. It’s going pretty good so far, I’m still a little bit ahead.

My rating system:

= total waste of time, stay away
= if you have absolutely nothing better to to
= weeeell, its ok i guess, it has parts worth seeing but don’t expect too much
= pretty good! but probably not worth seeing twice
= really, really great
= a must!

The movies I watched in april

  1. Absurdistan () Absurdistan is a charming and sweet black comedy / love story from a dusthole located somewhere in the former
    Soviet Union, where the women go on a sex strike to get their lazy men
    to fix the water supply. Reminds me of the wonderful movies of Emir Kusturica, especially Black cat White cat, and also the dirty grittyness of Delikatessen. Must keep an eye on future films from director Veit Kelmer. (IMDB / Wikipedia)
  2. Paul Blart – Mall cop () If you have nothing better to do, then sure.
  3. Striptease () Highlights: Demi Moores mammalian glands + Burt Reynolds covered in Vaseline.
  4. Exotica () Pretentious bullshit. Fast forward.
  5. X-Men Origins: Wolverine () I want to be Wolverine. I already have a broken heart and a distrust for authorities. All I need is adamantium claws. Quote: «I think there is a naked man in the barn».
  6. The Spirit () The first 40 minutes was a massive disappointment. The lack of humor drew attention to the bad acting and blatant thievery of the Sin City aesthetic (and technology). But at 40 minutes or so it started to pick up, and the gags and dialog started to tickle my fancy. Highlight: Samuel L. Jackson as a Nazi with an egg hangup! Hysterical! Perhaps the director fucked this one up, because if the first 40 minutes had been as funny as the rest, this would have been a .
  7. Closer ()  Quotes: «-I don’t eat fish. -Why not? -Fish piss in the sea. -So does children. -I don’t eat children either.» + «She: Do you want to discuss art? It’s a lie. It’s a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully and all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it’s beautiful because that is what they want to see. But the people in the photos are sad and alone, but the pictures make the world seem beautiful. So the exhibitions is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everybody loves a big fat lie. He: I’m the big fat lies boyfriend.» + «Thank you for your honesty, now fuck off and die you fucked up slag.»
  8. The Motorcycle Diaries () The formative journey of revolutionary hero Che Guevara trough Latin America. 8000 miles on an old Norton 500 motorcycle.
  9. Fame () Still fantastic! Fun, and very dark at the same time.
  10. Seven Pounds () My girlfriend hadn’t seen it yet, and I wanted to see if it still held up. And it does. Quote: «You are a good man even when you don’t know that people are watching you.»
  11. Barbarella () Awful, but in a splendid way. A total turkey. Jane Fonda is absolutely hilarious in this. Quote: «Decruxify the angel or I will melt your face» + «A life without cause is a life without effect»
  12. Skjult () Norwegian movie, so my comments are too: Faen i helvete så skummel! Dog: Karin Parks karakter trekker litt ned, litt for twin peaks psuedoskummel (= bryter illusjonen). Mange løse tråder når filmen er ferdig, men på en god måte, hjernen kan fortsette å jobbe litt.
  13. Somers town () Again! Needed something light after Skjult.
  14. Gummo () Quite disturbing. Dark stuff from director Harmony Korine (who wrote the screenplay for Kids).  Oh, and I recommend this rather strange video from David Letterman, where a coked up Korine said (among other strange and very funny things) : «I want to direct the sequel to Titanic. I’d use a rowboat. And I don’t know if it would sink»
  15. Julien donkey boy () Hated every second of it! Argh! Cruel, soulless and pretentious. This one also from Harmony Korine. And it is a «Dogme»-movie by the way.
  16. Observe and Report () Actually very funny from Seth Rogen. A little bit too similar to Mall Cop perhaps?
  17. Grey Gardens () Fantastic documentary.
  18. The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes Smarter Brother () Gene Wilder. :)
  19. The Secret life of Bees () Sweet, and sad, and beautiful. Quotes: «- Don’t get your hopes up. – They have no where else to go.» +»The rules of beekeeping  (and everything). Don’t be afraid. Don’t be an idiot. Don’t swat. Send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved» + «Sometimes not feeling is the only way to survive.» + «I’m unlovable» + «We like to think that love is pure and limitless. But love like that can’t exist in a hateful time.»
  20. Knowing (, because it’s sci-fi!) Disappointing. A Sci-fi movie about the destruction of mankind, and still they manage to screw it up with a car chase(!) while the earth is burning up, a predictable and boring plot. Boo! Observation: Aliens like fucking around in the fog at night wearing long black trench coats. And they like bunnies. Phat!
  21. Killshot () I’m taking a detour down the dirty and pockmarked road of Mickey Rourke’s movie career in reverse. Last: «The Wrestler» (hurray!). Now: «Killshot» (2008). Quite funny to start with, but turned dark halfway in. Quote: «Real life, what the fuck is that?»
  22. Last Chance Harvey () Being a hopeless romantic, I loved this movie, starring Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. I always feel like the outsider in social settings, even with my own family, so this melancholic movie is hitting close to home. Kind of an eyeopener really. If you are one of those people who feel comfortable and sort of content when you hit rock bottom, you will probably like this. Quotes: «You’re good. You still know how to make me feel like a piece of shit in 30 seconds». + «Your day may have been shitty, but mine was shittier». +  «Someway along the way I lost her. I woke up one morning and felt like i didn’t belong. I always had this feeling in my stomach that they where a bit embarrassed by me.» +  «I was not a great father» + «The blood oozes from his wound like dark chocolate on a warm summers day.»  – author reading from his book.
  23. Barfly () Starring Mickey Rourke, directed by Francis  Ford Coppola, written by Charles Bukowski. Year: 1987. (IMDB) The acting in this thing is fucking awful. I didn’t remember that from the last time I saw it.  Quote: «Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live». -Charles Bukowski  + «Come closer, I need to tell you something. Your mothers cunt (* sniffs *) stinks like carpet cleaner». + «I’d hate to be you if I where me» + «She: I hate people. Do you hate people? -He: No, but I seem to feel better when they’re not around»  + «She: I don’t want to fall in love. He: Don’t worry, nobody ever loved me yet» + «Last time I saw you, you had nothing. Now you have a woman and a radio!» + «Hatred, the only thing that lasts»
  24. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man () 1991. Mickey Rourke. Don Johnson. I had forgotten that this movie had a plot. :) Quotes: «It’s better to be dead and cool, than alive and uncool» – Harley Davidson + «My dad used to tell me, before he left this shitty world, that the right woman can make you, and the wrong woman can break you.» – Marlboro Man
  25. The Shawshank Redemption () Quotes: «Put your trust in the Lord. Your ass belongs to me» + «What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk.»
  26. Johnny Handsome () 1989. Mickey Rourke as the elephant man (sort of).
  27. Angel Heart () A masterpiece of cinematography and storytelling. And it has the most amazing sex-scene ever. Directed by Alan Parker , who also made Birdy, Fame and the Commitments, all some of my favorite films.
  28. Seven Dead Men () Low budget self published movie that frankly sucks ass. But hey, it’s free and legal to download, which is a rarity. The dialog has a few nuggets, but technically it is very rudimentary. The most irritating part is that it tries to be Pulp Fiction or Clerks, but without the charm. Most of the scenes are shot in cars, or at tables, from two angles. I like the two dudes in the suits though.
  29. The Adventure of Sherlock Homes’ smarter brother () I don’t think so.
  30. The Commitments () I love this movie! Quotes: «Elvis is GOD!» + «Auditoner sings: Heaven knows I’m miserable now . Mangager: Yeah, I know how you feel» + «That’s fucking blasphemy. Elvis wasn’t a cajun!» + «I’m black and I’m proud.» + «Pick a nipple and try it again» + «I need something to look forward to» + «- He’s a savage. – Yes, but he is our savage» + «That’s guerrilla with a «U, not an O» + «The lead singer has a voice Bob Geldof would starve for»
  31. Come see the paradise () A movie about the US internment camps during World War 2, ruled unconstitutional towards the end of the war. Directed by Alan Parker. Quotes: «When you lose your self respect you truly have nothing» + » A wasp always stings a crying face».

Av Morten Skogly

Creator of Things