2009 Movie Marathon : June

«Fuckers like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. You think you’re so creative. You don’t know what it’s really like to create something. To create a life and feel it growing inside you. All you know to create is death and destruction» -Sarah Connor

= Total waste of time, stay away
= If you have absolutely nothing better to to
= Weeeell, its ok i guess, it has parts worth seeing but don’t expect much
= Pretty good! but probably not wort seeing twice
= Really, really great
= A must!


  1. Chasing Amy () Funny, dirty and with signature Kevin Smith dialogue. Quotes: «It all goes back to something my grandmother told me: The big bucks are in dick and fart jokes.» + «It’s all about marketing: Over- or under-weight guys who can’t get laid are our bread and butter.» + Sign on bar wall: «And on the eight day, God created beer» + «You’re insane! Archie is NOT fucking mister Weatherbie» + «Everyone needs dick. Dykes: Bullshit posturing»


  2. Echelon Conspiracy () What a turd of a movie. Quotes: -«Some day all of this will be yours.» -«Really?» -«No.»
  3. Crossing over () What a sad world we live in. Interesting look into the immigration «business» of the USA. Quotes: «It’s easier to jerk yourself off in the shower than to rub her back for half an hour.»
  4. Last of the living () Great premise but shot by amateurs. «A cure? I know a cure! It’s called karate.» + -«Stand up!» -«Why because I don’t want to hit you while you’re sitting down.»
  5. Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure () Quotes: «This is a history report, not a babe report. But those are historical babes.» + Bogus. Heinous. Most non triumphant.» + «How’s it going royal ugly dudes?» + «What is a geek» – Siegmund Freud + «Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes.» – Abraham Lincoln
  6. Adam Resurrected () Gruelling and excellent. Quote: «God is out to lunch. He left a note on your arm.» (referring to concentration camp tattoo)
  7. Crank 2 () Woot! An audiovisual feast. Enjoyed the crap out of it, but it kind of crashed after 50 minutes. Two movie firsts for me: Silicon breasts with bullet holes + Guy with shotgun up his ass. Not pretty! Quote: «Fucking fuck your balls Chelios.»


  8. Terminator Salvation () Yawn. And the dialogue is so utterly predictable. Like: «If you pull a gun on someone you better be ready to use it». Jadda jadda jadda. Terminator Salvation never takes the time to build up the characters, so you really never
    cares what happens. And even besides that there is very littlesuspense. Seems like a webisode meant to tie the television series together with the first movies, but even without managing that, it is like there is a movie missing between this and the TV series. They even manage to squeeze in no less than two car chases, and I HATE car chases. «If you got a problem with the machines, he is definitely the guy to talk to.» If? IF? Who wrote this dribble! Quotes: «Get topside and tell those men to respond, even if they are dead.»


  9. Terminator () My oh my how the effects have improved since 1984! I love how this movie takes its time to build up Sarah Connor. Compared to the newest Terminator film this old heap is so much better.


  10. Caprica () Olalaa, I’m looking forward to this new television series. Quotes: «Find those things in life that make you cry, make you feel, because they will make you human» + -«There are no gods.» -«Then all the more reason to make our own justice».
  11. Terminator 2 Judgement day () Fantastic action movie, and one of the few movies made where a car chase actually betters the film. «John Connor: We’re not going to make it, are we? People I mean.» Terminator: «It’s in your nature to destroy yourselves.» + «Why did we get married, why did we have children. Your heart and your mind are in here (pats model of micro processor). But it doesn’t love you like we do.» + «I grew up in places like this, so I thought this was how people lived. Riding around in helicopters and learning to blow shit up.» + -«Are you ever afraid?» -«No» -«Not even of dying?» -«No.» -«You don’t feel any emotion about it one way or the other?» «No. I have to stay functional until the mission is complete. Then it doesn’t matter.» + «How where you supposed to know?! Fuckers like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. Think you’re so creative. You don’t know what it’s really like to create something. To create a life and feel it growing inside you. All you know to create is death and destruction» -Sarah Connor + «I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do.» – Arnold + «If a machine can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too» – Sarah Connor


  12. Terminator 3 : Rise of the machines () Sucks ass. Very poor acting, especially from John Connors character.
  13. Star Trek – Of gods and men () A fanmade mini series featuring cast from the original series. Worth watching if you are a Trekkie.
  14. Night at the the museum () Lots of funny and playful scenes and I love how they made the different artworks come alive, especially the paintings and photographs. Quotes: To Darth Vader: «There is too much going on here. You’re evil. You’re asthmatic. You’re a robot. And what is the cape for? Are you going to the opera?» + «If you’re not exited about it then why do you do it.» + «Do you know why I became a pilot? For the fun of it. Why else would anyone do anything.» + «The key to happiness is doing what you love with people that you love.»
  15. Dogma () Alanis Morisette is the cutest deity ever. And as always with Kevin Smith the dialogue is fantastic! Quotes: «You can’t be anal retentive if you don’t have an anus.» + «If I had a dick I’d go and get laid. Let’s do the next best thing. Let’s kill people.» + «Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.» + «Do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast them in the ass?» + -«You knew Christ?» -«Knew him?! The nigger owes me 12 bucks!»
  16. Road of no return () Shit, even with Carradine in it. Had to FF through it, completely horrendous.
  17. Sixteen Candles () Can’t believe I have missed out on this! Classic 80s movie starring Molly Ringwall. Funny, and utterly charming. Quote: «Everything is just getting shittier, my family forgetting my birthday just makes everything much more vivid.» + «What do you have to complain about? I have to sleep under a china-man named after a ducks dork» + «I have had men that have loved me before, but never for 6 months in a row» + «Fully aged sophomore meat!» + Her: -«What’s your name?» Him: – «Dong». Her: -«Whats you first name?» Him: -«Long». Her: -«What’s your middle name?» Him: -«Duck» + «We’ve got a girl’s underwear, and 70 dollars. We are as safe as kittens. This is a great social opportunity for us!»


  18. Babine ( or ) My first french Canadian movie. Beautiful, but it falls flat in parts, and becomes a little tedious.
  19. What goes up () Nice! And interesting frame, the home town of the school teacher that was supposed to go up in the Challenger space shuttle, which exploded. But has really nothing to do with the accident.
  20. Somethings gotta give () Old people having sex. Uuuugh. :)
  21. Year one () Another in a long line of rather disappointing Jack Black flick.
  22. Sunshine cleaning () Lovely feelgood movie about death! Highly recommended.


  23. Virtuality () A pilot. When the main character changes personality in the second episode then dies in the third, you sort of get the feeling that this television series won’t be long lived.
  24. Return of the ghostbusters () No-budget fan flick. Quotes: -«I know someone who wants to beat your ass» -«Who» -«My balls»
  25. In your dreams ()
  26. The devils tomb () Quote: «My job is to get my team out alive. When I shoot somebody and they don’t die, it makes my job fucking hard.»
  27. Zift () Bulgarian. Quotes: «You’ve fallen son. As low as a worm. You’ve perished. Your wick has burned out. What path did you take to lose yourself?»
  28. The Hangover () Fun! Quotes: «Is this the real Ceasars palace? Did Ceasar live here?» + «The Best Little Chapel? It’s on the corner of Get a map and Fuck off. Find it yourself.»


Av Morten Skogly

Creator of Things