2009 Movie Marathon : June

“Fuckers like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. You think you’re so creative. You don’t know what it’s really like to create something. To create a life and feel it growing inside you. All you know to create is death and destruction” -Sarah Connor

= Total waste of time, stay away
= If you have absolutely nothing better to to
= Weeeell, its ok i guess, it has parts worth seeing but don’t expect much
= Pretty good! but probably not wort seeing twice
= Really, really great
= A must!


  1. Chasing Amy () Funny, dirty and with signature Kevin Smith dialogue. Quotes: “It all goes back to something my grandmother told me: The big bucks are in dick and fart jokes.” + “It’s all about marketing: Over- or under-weight guys who can’t get laid are our bread and butter.” + Sign on bar wall: “And on the eight day, God created beer” + “You’re insane! Archie is NOT fucking mister Weatherbie” + “Everyone needs dick. Dykes: Bullshit posturing”


  2. Echelon Conspiracy () What a turd of a movie. Quotes: -“Some day all of this will be yours.” -“Really?” -“No.”
  3. Crossing over () What a sad world we live in. Interesting look into the immigration “business” of the USA. Quotes: “It’s easier to jerk yourself off in the shower than to rub her back for half an hour.”
  4. Last of the living () Great premise but shot by amateurs. “A cure? I know a cure! It’s called karate.” + -“Stand up!” -“Why because I don’t want to hit you while you’re sitting down.”
  5. Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure () Quotes: “This is a history report, not a babe report. But those are historical babes.” + Bogus. Heinous. Most non triumphant.” + “How’s it going royal ugly dudes?” + “What is a geek” – Siegmund Freud + “Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes.” – Abraham Lincoln
  6. Adam Resurrected () Gruelling and excellent. Quote: “God is out to lunch. He left a note on your arm.” (referring to concentration camp tattoo)
  7. Crank 2 () Woot! An audiovisual feast. Enjoyed the crap out of it, but it kind of crashed after 50 minutes. Two movie firsts for me: Silicon breasts with bullet holes + Guy with shotgun up his ass. Not pretty! Quote: “Fucking fuck your balls Chelios.”


  8. Terminator Salvation () Yawn. And the dialogue is so utterly predictable. Like: “If you pull a gun on someone you better be ready to use it”. Jadda jadda jadda. Terminator Salvation never takes the time to build up the characters, so you really never
    cares what happens. And even besides that there is very littlesuspense. Seems like a webisode meant to tie the television series together with the first movies, but even without managing that, it is like there is a movie missing between this and the TV series. They even manage to squeeze in no less than two car chases, and I HATE car chases. “If you got a problem with the machines, he is definitely the guy to talk to.” If? IF? Who wrote this dribble! Quotes: “Get topside and tell those men to respond, even if they are dead.”


  9. Terminator () My oh my how the effects have improved since 1984! I love how this movie takes its time to build up Sarah Connor. Compared to the newest Terminator film this old heap is so much better.


  10. Caprica () Olalaa, I’m looking forward to this new television series. Quotes: “Find those things in life that make you cry, make you feel, because they will make you human” + -“There are no gods.” -“Then all the more reason to make our own justice”.
  11. Terminator 2 Judgement day () Fantastic action movie, and one of the few movies made where a car chase actually betters the film. “John Connor: We’re not going to make it, are we? People I mean.” Terminator: “It’s in your nature to destroy yourselves.” + “Why did we get married, why did we have children. Your heart and your mind are in here (pats model of micro processor). But it doesn’t love you like we do.” + “I grew up in places like this, so I thought this was how people lived. Riding around in helicopters and learning to blow shit up.” + -“Are you ever afraid?” -“No” -“Not even of dying?” -“No.” -“You don’t feel any emotion about it one way or the other?” “No. I have to stay functional until the mission is complete. Then it doesn’t matter.” + “How where you supposed to know?! Fuckers like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. Think you’re so creative. You don’t know what it’s really like to create something. To create a life and feel it growing inside you. All you know to create is death and destruction” -Sarah Connor + “I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do.” – Arnold + “If a machine can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too” – Sarah Connor


  12. Terminator 3 : Rise of the machines () Sucks ass. Very poor acting, especially from John Connors character.
  13. Star Trek – Of gods and men () A fanmade mini series featuring cast from the original series. Worth watching if you are a Trekkie.
  14. Night at the the museum () Lots of funny and playful scenes and I love how they made the different artworks come alive, especially the paintings and photographs. Quotes: To Darth Vader: “There is too much going on here. You’re evil. You’re asthmatic. You’re a robot. And what is the cape for? Are you going to the opera?” + “If you’re not exited about it then why do you do it.” + “Do you know why I became a pilot? For the fun of it. Why else would anyone do anything.” + “The key to happiness is doing what you love with people that you love.”
  15. Dogma () Alanis Morisette is the cutest deity ever. And as always with Kevin Smith the dialogue is fantastic! Quotes: “You can’t be anal retentive if you don’t have an anus.” + “If I had a dick I’d go and get laid. Let’s do the next best thing. Let’s kill people.” + “Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.” + “Do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast them in the ass?” + -“You knew Christ?” -“Knew him?! The nigger owes me 12 bucks!”
  16. Road of no return () Shit, even with Carradine in it. Had to FF through it, completely horrendous.
  17. Sixteen Candles () Can’t believe I have missed out on this! Classic 80s movie starring Molly Ringwall. Funny, and utterly charming. Quote: “Everything is just getting shittier, my family forgetting my birthday just makes everything much more vivid.” + “What do you have to complain about? I have to sleep under a china-man named after a ducks dork” + “I have had men that have loved me before, but never for 6 months in a row” + “Fully aged sophomore meat!” + Her: -“What’s your name?” Him: – “Dong”. Her: -“Whats you first name?” Him: -“Long”. Her: -“What’s your middle name?” Him: -“Duck” + “We’ve got a girl’s underwear, and 70 dollars. We are as safe as kittens. This is a great social opportunity for us!”


  18. Babine ( or ) My first french Canadian movie. Beautiful, but it falls flat in parts, and becomes a little tedious.
  19. What goes up () Nice! And interesting frame, the home town of the school teacher that was supposed to go up in the Challenger space shuttle, which exploded. But has really nothing to do with the accident.
  20. Somethings gotta give () Old people having sex. Uuuugh. :)
  21. Year one () Another in a long line of rather disappointing Jack Black flick.
  22. Sunshine cleaning () Lovely feelgood movie about death! Highly recommended.


  23. Virtuality () A pilot. When the main character changes personality in the second episode then dies in the third, you sort of get the feeling that this television series won’t be long lived.
  24. Return of the ghostbusters () No-budget fan flick. Quotes: -“I know someone who wants to beat your ass” -“Who” -“My balls”
  25. In your dreams ()
  26. The devils tomb () Quote: “My job is to get my team out alive. When I shoot somebody and they don’t die, it makes my job fucking hard.”
  27. Zift () Bulgarian. Quotes: “You’ve fallen son. As low as a worm. You’ve perished. Your wick has burned out. What path did you take to lose yourself?”
  28. The Hangover () Fun! Quotes: “Is this the real Ceasars palace? Did Ceasar live here?” + “The Best Little Chapel? It’s on the corner of Get a map and Fuck off. Find it yourself.”



2009 Movie Maraton: March


Miniquiz: Who said: “There must and shall be BOOZE!”

We have just entered the lovely month of April, and spring is in the air, finally! This probably means that there will be fewer movies and more rooting in the garden in the coming months on my part. But YOU, dear reader, might find brief enjoyment in some of the movies I came across in the month of March, in the year of our fnord 2009.

  1. The day the earth stood still, 1951 (****) It is always fun to watch the original after the remake, and I must say I enjoyed the 1951 version alot more, especially for the “spectacular” cheesy special effects :)
  2. Stir Crazy (*****) I remember watching this comedy a billion times on VHS recorded from tv in the 80s. Still great fun. And it has a beautiful version of the song “Birmingham Jail” as a bonus.
  3. Jackie Brown (*****) I like Jackie Brown, but there is something “off” about the tempo of this movie, compared to Tarantino’s masterpiece “Pulp Fiction”.
  4. Heaven and Earth (****) Oliver Stone’s third and last movie in his Vietnam trilogy, and the least praised, probably because of it’s Vietnamese cast. Quote: “Lasting victories are won in the heart” (not in this land or that)
  5. Lost in La Mancha (*****) Documentary of a movieshoot gone bad. VERY bad. Poor Terry Gilliam
  6. The adventures of Baron Munchhausen (*****) “Quote: “I am tired of the world, and the world is evidently tired of me.” According to the documentary “Lost in la mancha” the production if Baron Munchhausen was a complete dissaster, but to my eyes it looks fantastic. I can understand that Gilliam went over budget, because the sets are fantastic in their complexity. More quotes: “It is the dawning of the age of lovely intimate things” (while blowing up a hot air balloon made of female undergarments.) + “He won’t get far on hot air and fantasy” + “I’ve got tides to regulate and comets to direct, I don’t have time for flatulence and orgasms” (Robin Williams as the King of the Moon)
  7. Platoon (******) “Rejoice O young man in thy youth …” – Ecclesiastes. Ironic quote chosen by Oliver Stone as the intro to this classic.
  8. The man with two brains (****) Steve Martin in one of his funniest roles.
  9. Summer (**** or *****) Great form and storytelling! (Imdb)
  10. Cape Fear (***) It has lost it’s bite from the first time I saw it. But still impressed about Robert De Niro transformed his body for this role.
  11. Match Point (***) Longwinded, but I love the Carousoi soundtrack, which has sentimental value to me.
  12. The Outsiders (*** or ****) Quote: Stay gold.
  13. McCabe and Mrs. Miller (****) A tale from the wild west, but with music from Leonard Cohen. It is also one of few movies ever that shot in sequence, according to wikipedia.
  14. Crocodile Dundee (****) Actually this is ***** if I should follow my own rating system, because it is obviously worth seeing again. Hello 1986! Quote: “To talk about who owns the earth is like two fleas discussing who owns the dog they are sitting on.” – Crockodile Dundee said that :)
  15. Club Paradise (*** or ****) Another 1986 movie, this time a lighthearted comedy, like this decade is so known for. With Robin Williams.
  16. Money pit (****) Tom Hanks stars in this hillarious 1986 comedy. (wikipedia)
  17. Pretty in Pink (*****) A classic. And this one is also from 1986. A good year. Quote: “Why can’t we start old and get younger”
  18. Watchmen (**** or *****) Strange forward movement and tempo on this movie, with all the flashbacks. Slow, but wakes you up with ultraviolent scenes, but I am uncertain about where the story is taking me. Quote: “Beneath me, this awful city, it screams like an abattoir full of retarded children.” – Rorschach
  19. Role Models (***) Quite entertaining. Quote about girls: “In my experience the bigger ones do way more stuff”
  20. The Graduate (*****) A classic. Dustin Hoffman portraying the most irritating / gayest man ever.
  21. Death Proof (*****) Watched it again to see the 8 minute one take conversation around a diner table, but ended up seeing the whole thing. Not Tarantinos best, but it has a few golden moments.
  22. The French Connection (***) What a messy movie. Gene Hackman delivers ok, but kind of dissapointing.
  23. Kids (*****) It blew my mind the first time I saw it, now it just scares me.
  24. Rumble Fish (*****) Was shot back to back with The Outsider, but this is quite a different production, and a lot better in my opinion. Quote: “Even the most primitive society has an inate respect for the insane.” – Motorcycle boy (played by Mickey Rourke) + “I feel like I’m wasteing my life waiting for something.” – Rusty James (Matt Dillion)
  25. Robin Williams – Live at the Met (*****) A classic, Robin Williams before he got “family friendly”. Classic quote: “It’s five o clock in the morning, and you’ve just pissed on a dumpster. It’s Miller time.”
  26. Sid and Nancy (*****) Gary Oldman! What the hell, I had completely missed that Gary Oldman played Sid Vicious, and I’ve watched this movie twice before. These fuckers knew how to have fun! Quote: “I was so bored once that I fucked a dog”
  27. Rio Bravo (****) Hillarious and strange. John Wayne is a complete dork!
  28. Confessions of an action hero (***) Funny spoof on the wonderful world of horrible action heroes.
  29. Ready or not (***) a bachelor movie from Las Vegas. Wish I had friends like that.
  30. Birdy (***** or ******) What?”
  31. Mad Max 2 (*****) Quotes: “Are you happy out there? One day blurring into another?” + “A burnt out desolate man”
  32. The cake eaters (****) Sweet smalltown love-story.
  33. Mr Blandings builds his dream house (****) Cary Grant, 1948. Kind of hard to feel sorry for a dude with a black maid. Quote: “This house needs two. One to love it and one to hold it up.”
  34. Kabluey (**** or *****) Quote: “We’re being attacked by cheese!”
  35. What doesn’t kill you (*** or ****) Ethan Hawke with a gold tooth. Hm.